Emptiness

I came across an interesting definition of emptiness by Descartes in one of his philosophical writings. Emptiness, he thought, is the space which is not occupied by an expected substance. We could probably understand this concept better when we reflect on a glass of water. 

A glass of water can be full, half-filled or empty - depending on its water content. Of course in reality the glass can never be empty, since air would occupy its contents when there isn't water in it (We only expect water in the glass, not air). Similarly, when we talk about empty rooms, blank sheet of paper, or empty stomach, we don't really mean that these are really devoid of any substances. We call something empty when it doesn't contain that thing we expect there to be.

What this means is that emptiness is just an illusion. There can never be any empty seats in the bus or any real space in the house - because there's always dust all around! But of course, what we really mean is that there are no other people in the bus or the house, and so we think that they are empty. In reality, there can never be empty space.

The same can be said about time. People say, "It's time for a break", "I need some free time","Time off". However, for the same reason that there is no empty space, there may not be any free time either, unfortunately. What we mean by free time is when we are not doing a certain activity that we are expected to. It is not total freedom from all activities, since we must be doing something during our free time - eating, resting, talking, or sleeping. No wonder then, when our days are filled with appointments and work (fully expected tasks), we find that we do not have any free time. 

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So don't despair if you ever feel an emptiness in your life. Never say, "I have no real friends, no real job, and an empty pocket". This is because, as what we have already discovered today, emptiness is an illusion. Of course something is empty if we don't find what we expect there to be present, even when there are lots of other things there. So, by simple adjustments to our expectations, we can remove (the thought of) a certain emptiness in our lives. 


Similarly, we can also create more emptiness when there isn't enough space - more space for a small house, more free time off work - by adjusting our expectations. Who needs a mansion, if its full of 'empty space'? How long, during our routine daily jobs, that we actually struggle or exert our mental or physical powers? In fact, most our (if boring) jobs are quite routine and at the end of the day, we get paid for a lot of 'free time'. No need to complain then. 

Aufschwung

On Being a Critic

Probably not the best singer out there

Everyone has a right to be a critic. We can each form our own judgement - about anything really, from songs to films, food and politics. We are often asked to fill in evaluation or feedback forms for certain events we've attended, or for our colleagues and supervisors in the office or university. I'm not sure about you, but I get stuck every time I arrive at the 'Suggestions for improvement' section. I usually just write 'None'. So what makes a good critic? 

Can Simon Cowell sing? Can any of the Rotten Tomatoes critics make a successful film? Can the opinionated political columnists run the country? Of course not! 

I think it must have occurred to us that the best critics are usually under-performers in the field that they themselves judge. But why?

To be a good critic, one must be able to easily highlight the weaknesses of others specific to their particular field of interest. However, in order to see what's wrong with others, we must first be blind to our own imperfections. That's because the urge to criticise is usually triggered by the feeling of disgust. And like I said before, we feel disgusted only when we see the ignored part of our character and personality in other people. Let me give one example.

During medical ward rounds, as students, we are often encouraged to present the case of patients we have clerked to the consultant. Although it seems like a straightforward process of regurgitating the medical history elicited from the patient, case presentation during ward rounds can be tricky. First, you must make sure you got enough information from the patient, or your history would be incomplete. Then, when you present the case, you must trigger some interest from your consultant, not making it too long that it would bore your audience, or too brief that you lose all the important bits out.

When I listen to my colleagues presenting a case, I find it quite easy to make a mental list of criticisms and how they could have done it better. Of course, I never share these thoughts with them, as not to be impolite. I'd like to think that I can do better than my colleagues, but the truth is I can't. The fact that it's too easy for me to criticise my colleagues' case presentation only highlights my own weaknesses in this particular area. 

Another way to see this is to consider who makes the worst judge - one who praises more easily than criticising. If one is allowed to speak freely and not inhibited by trying to be polite, and yet has nothing bad to say to most people about his field of expertise, that is not because he is simply being too nice. It must be that he does not feel disgusted by the poor performance of others, as he had long realized his own imperfections in that area. 

Indeed the first step to great success is to admit our worst weaknesses.

Structured Chaos

Structure and chaos are opposites of each other. A structure is by definition something that is orderly, precise and predictable. In contrast, chaos is without order, vague and unpredictable. However, despite their opposing nature, I think structure and chaos are closely intertwined at a deeper level.

There are generally two ways of building a structure: (1) from template; or (2) from chaos. I argue that structures that are built from chaos - that is, structured chaos - are much more robust and stronger than those reproduced or built from blueprints. Let me give some examples.

Take the computer as a structure, for example. We are all aware that there is a fixed, orderly, and predictable relationship between the components of a computer - CPU, RAM, hard disk, etc. In fact within each component, there is an even more intricate and precise order of much smaller parts. While this highly structured piece of modern technology has become an integral part of our lives, unfortunately, we also know that it is quite fragile. It can overheat, easily broken to pieces, and also susceptible to viruses and malwares.

Compare this to the human body. Of course there is also a fixed order between the parts of the human body - the brain in the head does the thinking, heart between the lungs pumps blood, bowels in the abdomen absorb nutrients, etc. But underneath this order there is also chaos - the normal variation of our anatomy, genetic makeup, and living conditions. And yet, the human body - a structured chaos - can survive physical trauma, environmental stressors, and many different kinds of infection!

What does this all mean then? Well, I'm only trying to justify my own chaotic mind. I envy many of my colleagues who have a structured approach to study by memorising the facts in lecture notes and simply do the practical stuff the way we are taught to do it. Meanwhile, I don't usually revisit lecture notes, preferring to read other sources and then reorganize all the facts back together in my head.

At least I like to think that, while many of my friends study to pass exams, I study for my own interest. Even computers can pass exams by simply storing and regurgitating all the facts! What makes us different from computers, is that we can create new links between the facts stored in our memory, and therefore speculate and create new hypotheses. This can happen in spite of the disorganized way facts are stored in our brain. In other words, we can build structure from chaos - i.e. structured chaos. Isn't this the root of our creativity?

Extinguishing Hatred

Urgh! He's getting on my nerves! Why can't he be less annoying like other people?

Hmm, I know how you feel. There used to be someone who really irritated me. Do you know why we hate certain people, while we can tolerate others?

Isn't it simply because those people we hate have done something wrong to us?

No. We don't hate someone simply because of his actions. If someone has lied to us, for example, we don't hate him only because he has lied to us. If we do, how can we tolerate lies from other people?

I see. So why do you think we only hate certain people then?

Well, that's because we see our own shadow in those we hate.

What do you mean by shadow?

Our shadow is an aspect of our character and personality that we are not aware of, in contrast to the usual way we see ourselves. It may be something too embarrassing for us to admit that it could be a part of who we are.

Let me give you an example: In any competition, we loathe those who cheat their way to victory. But in fact, we quite often intend to cheat too, if only we can get away with it. However, we often deny having this selfish intention at all, despite the contrary. The stronger we deny our own intention to cheat, the more 'cheating' becomes part of our shadow. So when we see our shadow (i.e the tendency to cheat) in other competitors, we despise them.

I think I understand your concept. But I don't quite agree with it. Say someone broke into my house and stole my belongings. Are you saying that I hate the thief not because he has stolen my property, but because I intend to steal back from him?

In that situation, it is natural to feel sad and frustrated because you've lost your belongings. Even then, I still think your hatred towards the thief can only be due to seeing your own shadow in the thief.

Are you suggesting that I steal things?

Not at all. Let's put ourselves in the thief's dirty shoes. What might have motivated us to break into other people's property? It could either be because we don't respect property law; or we are in desperation for money; or we may simply be greedy -  or most likely all of them put together. Given the chance to get away with it and not get caught or punished, what could stop us from committing this crime? 

Of course, like you, I would naturally despise the person who's stolen my property. However, I could also try to separate the feeling of sadness of losing my belongings, from the feeling of hatred towards the thief. If I can get back all my property, my sadness may go away, but what about the hate? Only when I recognize my own shadow, that is, my own propensity to steal from others given the right conditions; then it would even be possible for me to stop hating the thief!

Of course he should be made to pay for the inconveniences he's caused. However, I don't think he should automatically be treated as an enemy.

Surely he's your enemy if he's already stolen from you!

Well, what if I later discover that he was my own brother? Should I treat him differently then? 

Maintaining Improbability

Egypt uprising in 2011 (Image source)

Survival is all about maintaining improbability.* Of course, by definition, to survive is "to continue to exist in spite of danger or hardship". Survival does not simply mean existence, it must also be in the face of adversity.

Even if something is supposed to exist, it would not live very long unless it can also survive against all odds of its existence. For example, when a new government is officially installed after it has won a general election, it would not remain in power for very long unless this new government has also worked out ways of appeasing the opposition parties and their supporters. Otherwise, it would be toppled by the opposing forces soon enough.

Another example would be a biological system, like the human body. It is amazing how the human body is naturally formed by complex multiplication and differentiation process of a single cell - a zygote. It is even more astonishing that it could survive at all! This is not only about our need for oxygen. In order to survive, we must also protect ourselves against external threats (toxic materials, deadly infections, extreme weather) and our inherent instability (genetic abnormalities, degenerative diseases, cancer, etc.).

Survival is more about maintaining improbability, than just natural occurrence. So for me to survive my medical course, I must not only focus on working hard to pass all my exam. What's more important is to address the challenges that may disrupt this progress. And these challenges come from two dimensions: 

(1) externally, such as misleading exam questions and unfair examiners;

(2) internally, (an inherent instability) such as forgetfulness and misapprehensions.

Passing my exam will not just happen naturally from hard work. I would also have to be equipped in facing those challenges highlighted above - by being careful in reading questions, try to stimulate interest from the examiners, do revision to solidify my knowledge and verify the learned facts.

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Once we have realized that in order to survive, we are constantly struggling against all odds, then we will have a greater appreciation of even the smallest achievement in our daily lives.

*  "Organic bodies must constantly work to maintain improbability", quoted from here.

Sunday Morning Reflection

Waking up early on a Sunday morning is a great triumph. This is especially true when there's no particular plan for the day. What this means is that I have all this time to myself. If I'm meeting someone later, getting up early gives me more time to be on my own.

We don't get this me-time on weekdays, or later parts of the weekend as they are spent fulfilling our commitments to our job, close friends, and family. And it usually continues throughout weeknights, as our minds would still be bogged down by unfinished jobs and plans for the following day. Don't get me wrong, these are still time well spent, even when they are dedicated to other people. 

What is special about Sunday morning is that, usually by Saturday night, we have fully recovered all our physical and mental energy spent in the past week of hard work. Despite this, we have all day today to ourselves. 

"So what should I do with all this free time?"

We shouldn't be asking ourselves this question. When it comes up to mind, that means boredom will set it soon, if it hasn't already done so. Boredom, is equally suffering to the mind as exhaustion. If in exhaustion we have lost the resources (either physical or mental energy, or time) to lead a satisfying life, when bored, we have lost our direction and purpose to live (despite having time and energy) altogether.

So actually, boredom is a worse condition than exhaustion. No wonder depression is still rampant in our society despite all the conveniences of modern living. In fact, it could be more prevalent as with readily available food, and assistance of technology, we have more free time, but with no clear direction on how to spend our time meaningfully.

Fortunately, I have found what I'd like to do with my time. By reading, reflecting and writing, I can have a million years, and neither boredom nor exhaustion will set in. C'est la vie!